I was contacted last week by someone working with the Grand Hyatt Seoul. They said that we were on the short list of preferred businesses to be promoted to high end guests in their concierge program.

I had around 60 emails to go through that morning, so I didn’t read it thoroughly. We’d been wanting to get in front of the eyes of Seoul’s concierges for a while, so I quickly sent a message that I’d like to speak with them on phone.

Then I realized something was fishy about it.

 

A week later, I received this. I’m interspersing my snarky comments in between.

Hyatt Seoul

Click for full view

Dear Joe,

It was really good to speak with you and I would like to thank you for taking the time to look at this opportunity.

Um, we never did speak with you. You never called.

I have spoken with the management team at length about your fabulous tour services and the high level of service that you can provide to the guests who are staying at the hotel.

I hope you discussed with them longer than you discussed with me, which [again] was ZERO.

After my discussion with the team, we are certain that Dark Side of Seoul will make excellent partners for the wonderful Grand Hyatt Seoul luxury destination guide and will of no doubt be of great interest to the high net worth, affluent guests that the hotel will cater for that are looking for a professional tour service. Whether it be a short tour of the dark side of the city or an extended tour including a food tour, we know that the guests will enjoy your unique tour packages, particularly as you offer a late tour and we have every confidence that you will provide them with the highest level of customer service. We would therefore like to invite you to be a ‘Close contact’ partner.  Usually ‘Close contact’ partners are reserved for those who already supply or work closely with the hotel, however as we feel that you are perfect alignment with the Grand Hyatt guests we would like to offer you a close contact partnership which will give you a 50% discount on the cost of partnership we only have four of these discounted partnerships available (see discounted costs below in green)

I knew I smelled something. Never trust anyone who “invites” you to be anything. It means they want money.

We would therefore like to invite you to be a ‘Close contact’ partner.  Usually ‘Close contact’ partners are reserved for those who already supply or work closely with the hotel, however as we feel that you have perfect alignment with the Grand Hyatt guests we would like to offer you a close contact partnership which will give you a 50% discount on the cost of partnership (see discounted costs below in green)

You already cut and pasted that before. But I get it. You want money.

The publication contains information about the hotel’s facilities, local attractions together with a beautiful map of Seoul. We then feature approximately 15 local luxury partners whose business will be of interest to the guests and whose services they are most likely to need during their stay. With over 163,000 guests per year, it is important that we source the right partners who can provide a high quality service to the guests so that the guests will return to the hotel.

I reach that many in less than a month paying $150 to Facebook. But please, go on.

The luxury guide will be a constant reference point for the guests throughout their stay and will showcase key services and contact details which will allow guests to contact the business directly or through the concierge.

I’m guessing that the Grand Hyatt’s concierge won’t recommend us unless we pay this payola, huh?

Okay.

How much is the damage?

We can offer the following:

Type & Size of

Partnership

Standard Cost for

12 month

Discount

Provided

Total Sponsorship Fee

with Close Contact discount  

Payment

Schedule

Availability                         
Half Panel$1,995Reduced by 50% Close Contact Discount$998 50% deposit of $499 followed by 2 equal monthly instalments of $249Only position available
(91mm wide x 96mm high)or
5% discount for payment in full total sponsorship fee $948
Full Panel$2,995 Reduced by 50% Close Contact Discount$1,49850% deposit of $749 followed by 2 equal monthly instalments of $374Only position available
(91mm wide x 196mm high)  or 
5% discount for payment in full total sponsorship fee $1423

Oohhhh…..

Yyyeah…..

I think I’ll have to pass.


Hello Hyatt!

May I address you directly and respectfully?

You could do much better than this. At least I have above second grade grammar in my communications. Your high end English-speaking clientele will appreciate that.

Do you need me to put together a guide of places for your concierge?

You know, valuable services that your customers would appreciate rather than services that just paid the highest bid?

If so, contact me.

Looking forward to hearing from you.